Ethan wanted to call a friend to go play tennis at noon. It’s ANOTHER hot day in San Mateo. I asked why not wait until later in the day when it’s cooler.

E: “Nah, mom, noon is the perfect time to play tennis.”

Me: “No, it’s too hot and the sun beats down on you.”

E: “Yeah, but at noon you both have equal sun in your eyes.”

Me: “Who told you that?”

E: “Nobody. I just thought of it myself.”

Do other kids think of things like that?

Ethan had his first soccer game of the season today. He played great. He only played the 2nd half, because it turned out he was wearing baseball cleats by accident. So I drove home to get another pair (15 min each way! I had to hustle!!!) We have like 8 pairs of cleats in various sizes. Glen found the other pair that looked like it would fit him and I drive it back to the soccer field. Nope! The ref says those are FOOTBALL cleats. (Apparently American football…)

Why the heck would we have football cleats???

Luckily I brought his regular sneakers too, and they let him play in those. Of course, as the only kid who hadn’t played during the first half, he looked real good out there!

Family occassions, like a funeral or wedding or bar mitzvah, are the times when it is so hard to be far away from family. Those are times when you learn so much about the strength of your family members, about their values for better or worse. Those are the times when you see their faces at their most happy and most sad. Those are the times you remember the memories and make new ones. But not if you aren’t there.

Glen and I have made the commitment that our family vacations (in other words, traveling budget and time away from work) have to be spent with family and that we must commit to those big, meaningful celebrations of life and mournings of death. We want the boys to know their family at the good and bad times, see their faces happy and sad, and hear about the past and help create the future.

Ethan and Jared started school 2 days after Mommer died. Thank god (literally?) for the jewish tradition of shiva. It is such a civilized, meaningful way to deal with losing someone - multiple days to visit and mourn and remember with family and friends. Glen didn’t make it for the funeral (I have no further comments), but he and Ethan went out to see his family for a shiva call.

Mommer was my grandmother-in-law, and I will never forget how she gave it to me straight. When Glen’s family was a mystery to me and so often I didn’t have a clue what I had done to offend, she would tell me. Straight out - no apologies, no sparing my feelings - and it was such a relief! I remember her distinctive voice and the way it softened over the years I knew her. The way she said “Karen,” protesting something or calling her.

Ethan, Jared and Matthew - Mommer wasn’t always the kindest person to everyone, but she was always kind to me and she loved you very much.

Jared was studying it the next day and immediately asked to call Grandpa.

“Can Grandpa bring his telescope over on Thursday? It’s a new moon - perfect for sky watching!”

To be honest, no night is perfect for sky watching when you live across the street from the mall - the epitomy of light pollution! And it turned out that Jared misread the schedule somehow and that the moon was half full. But that didn’t stop us from calling Grandpa right away and asking him to bring the telescope over.

He brings his small telescope every week in the winter. It’s harder in the summer because obviously the sun is kinda in the way until past the time when Jim and Penny would be heading back to Berkeley. And since the weather here isn’t prohibitive after dark in the winter, that’s our best time. But Grandpa would never ignore a special request.

It’s hard for young children to see in the scope. They can’t hold their heads so still and they don’t know what they’re looking at.

When Matthew looked at Jupiter, Grandpa said, “look for a ball. Can you see a giant ball?”

Matthew said, “No ball. I see a disk.”

We’ll take it.

I love these low-key happy birthdays.

Matthew turned 4 yesterday. His brothers woke up remembering it was his birthday and sang to him immediately (not the you-smell-like-a-monkey version!). I think he got everything he wanted - at least he says he did:

• Ice cream for breakfast!
• Pop sicles at his last day of camp in the morning!
• Oma and Opa and friends visiting! (Including best friend Anneke - the little monkeys!)
• A new Indiana Jones Wii game - just what he wanted - thanks Nana and Shana!
• Phone calls from grandparents, uncles and aunts! (Sorry to everyone who caught him when he was more interested in his new Wii game than in talking to them…. does anyone have pointers on that? Ideas about how to remind them that family is more important than video games? (I’m serious - I’m taking notes if anyone has any….)
• Requested dinner chicken parmesan!
• Presents to open!
• Birthday cake with sprinkles and with 4 candles plus 1 to grow on to blow out and sparklers too!

Last year for Matthew’s birthday we were in the High Sierra Nevada, near the San Francisco  Sierra Nevada Field Campus. Grandma Penny and Grandpa Jim rented a BEAUTIFUL cabin and we had great adventures.

But we forgot cake! SO we decorated a platter with oreos (don’t tell daddy), m&m’s, blueberries and 2 table candles!

That was another low-key but happy birthday.

I think I really confused Matthew yesterday morning though. We had all told him over and over that 3 was almost over and that he would turn 4. He knew it the second he woke up that - he was thrilled to be 4!

However, it can be very hard for a mommy to see her little babies growing up up up! In March I told Jared he was not allowed to turn 6 and enter real boyhood from little-boyhood. He thought this was very funny.

Yesterday morning as he crawled into our bed where his whole family was waiting for him, I told Matthew that he had to stay 3 because I didn’t want him to turn 4, he freaked out! He started yelling at me and he  actually looked scared - like somehow I had ripped the fabric of time and it was all so unfair.

If I only I had the power to control time! Of course, for now he doesn’t have to know I can’t. For a little while longer Glen and I can be omnipotent. Although, for the Lipka boys 4 has traditionally been the age where they challenged that notion with every fiber of their being. We’re in for a fun year!

My amalgamation of these recipes create a delicious purple smoothie. The spinach is completely hidden by the strong color of the blueberry.

1 cup OJ

1.5 - 2 cup raw spinach

1 cup vanilla NF yogurt

1 cup frozen blueberries

Mix in blender. Add OJ if it’s too thick.

Drink while it’s fresh! It sort of deteriorates after about 20 minutes - then you can see the spinach! Also, clean it up soon after eating! Don’t leave the cups or blender to sit. They’re much easier to clean if you do it right away!

Any random person he can get to answer: Why?

Matthew: Because it went across the road and into the house. It went in the bathroom and sat on the toilet. It went pee and poo. Then the little boy came in and pushed it down the toilet and flushed the toilet and it said “aaaaah! aaaaaaah! aaaaah!”

(Matthew and Jared can incorporate potty humor in any joke. How naive I was to think that since Ethan never engaged in potty talk that I would get to miss it altogether…. *sigh*)

———————

Matthew: Knock knock

Anyone around: Who’s there?

Matthew: Interrupting cow

Anyone: Interrupting co…….

Matthew: MOOOO!

Courtesy of Erin Coady

———————-

Then Glen tried to expand on the interrupting cow to interrupting chicken or interrupting pig. Matthew LOVED this idea. But he couldn’t execute it!  He’d say - interrupting pig, and then he’d say MOOO by accident instead of OINK! And each time he’d smack his forehead and laugh and laugh, exclaiming - oh no! or Doh! or Hey!

He tried about 20 times before he finally got it. He did NOT give up.

Matthew and Jared both took pretty long naps the other day, and for the first time I can remember, they couldn’t fall asleep that night!

They tiptoed into our room twice. “Our tummy hurts,” they said in unison.

“You share a single tummy? It’s the collective tummy?” we teased.

I went to check on them and both children were lying next to each other in Jared’s bed. They didn’t hear me sneak to the door and poke my head in. By the light of the snowflake lights, Jared was reading Go Dog Go! to Matthew.

It was SO CUTE!!!

With Ethan out of the room, Jared gets to take on the role of big brother. I think he’s enjoying it.

Jared: “Mom, what’s today?”

Matthew: “I think it’s Monday.”

Mommy: “That’s right Matthew, it’s Monday! Nice!”

Matthew: “YES!” (makes fists as if the JETS just won the Super Bowl and smiles the biggest smile)

It’s the little triumphs in life that make the difference.

The biggest drawback was our music. The room also served as the music room where I could practice singing and the boys could play drums and sometimes work with me on rudimentary music theory. Also, the room served as our library and we would have to find a new place for all of our books.

We have moved Ethan into his own room now! We bought some bureaus for clothes in both rooms. We are slowly trying to remove the extra things in Ethan’s room to make it his own. Ethan loves having a place to put all of his sports and chess trophies. Jared and Matthew are happy with their new bureau. Matthew picks his clothes out every morning and brings them to me to dress him without being asked!

All in all, I miss my music. But I think the psychological benefits of splitting up the boys at this time are more important.

I hope Glen makes millions of dollars soon to buy a 5 bedroom with a music room/library. Then we could have a guest room AND a place for me to sing AND each boy could have his own room. Nana thinks we could afford that in Florida without millions of dollars and she said she’d do all of our laundry if we moved to Florida!

Glen likes it here though. A lot. Something about people in line at Starbucks talking processing speeds.

(You better like it here honey - I figure we need at least $2 million to buy a house the size we need - $1 million down payment on a $1.5 million house, plus a million in the bank to earn the money we’ll need for taxes and upkeep!!! And that’s not even in the neighborhoods I’d like!)

Ethan had never been on the big, adult roller coasters. He had never had the chance. He loved every minute of them! He not only went on the fastest roller coasters there, like California Screamin (which includes a loop de loop!) but even on Tower of Terror - 13 stories free fall! Thank goodness for Uncle Daniel who accompanied Ethan on most of these rides.

Ethan’s favorite rides: Tower of Terror, California Screamin, Indiana Jones

Jared was terrified of many of the rides. After trying the Matterhorn early on the first day, which is very jerky and has “scary sounds,” he was really nervous about getting on any but the mildest rides. Over the next 2 days he found the courage to try some rides that scared him, particularly Orange Stinger and Mulholland Madness at California Adventure Park, and actually enjoyed them! The thrill for him was not how much fun he was having on the rides like Ethan, but in how proud he was in himself that he had conquered his fear. I could see a huge change in him during that trip and in the weeks since. Conquering that fear at Disneyland gave him new confidence in himself. And it made him happier.

Jared’s Favorite Rides: Orange Stinger, Pirates of the Carribean, Peter Pan (he especially enjoyed Uncle Daniel’s commentary during this ride), Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, Gadget’s Go Coaster, Mulholland Madness, Redwood Creek Challenge Trail

Daniel also had to draw on character in this story. On the last night, as we sat lined up on the curb watching the Electric Parade, Daniel reached back to get his video camera and threw his back out. It was awful. He was in such pain and couldn’t move. On our last vacation with him, everyone in the house except Lindy threw up in the space of 48 hours. Then he had a kidney stone and Bapu had to rush him to the E.R. I hope he doesn’t decide not to visit us anymore, although I could hardly blame him! WE LOVE YOU UNCLE DANIEL!

Uncle Daniel’s Favorite Rides: ???

Aunt Lindy and I both had some favorites from childhood, including The Tiki Room, which wasn’t such a hit this time around.

Nana’s Favorite Ride: Definitely NOT the Toon Town Roller Coaster, Gadget’s Go Coaster

Aunt Lindy’s Favorite Rides: FROM AUNT LINDY: “My favorite thing about disneyland is reliving my childhood experience with molly and the lipka boys- it’s so fun to share all the things i loved so much as a child with them. Altho i’m sorry i had to miss it i’m SO happy that they got to see the electric parade - for me that counts as a ride. My other favorites are Pirates of the Carribean, the Jungle Cruise and the Tiki Room. The Tiki room appeals to me not just because it’s pseudo historical- it opened in 1963 and retains it’s 1963 cultural references- i also like the corny jokes, the family friendliness and the international flavor. I am also a big fan of Space Mountain (the inclines and declines are just right for me and it’s like an intergalactic chiropractic adjustment). It was closed this time- perhaps next time all the kids will be tall enough to accompany me!”

Note to Aunt Lindy: if we go again as soon as I’d like, they won’t be tall enough yet!!!

My Favorite Rides: Soarin’ Over California (you really felt like you were flying! I loved it!!!), Peter Pan, Orange Stinger, Storybook Land Canal Boats (we went at dusk and it was so picturesque)

Everyone’s Least Favorite Ride: The Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage (even though Lindy worked some of her Lindy magic and got all 9 of us jumped to the head of the line with no wait! How does she do it?) Ethan was like - there’s the surface of the water right there above our heads! This thing is not submerged!!!