On the one hand the boys are pretty healthy.

At some point in the spring I realized that Ethan had been sniffling and sneezing non-stop for a year.

Allergies. Guess the breast milk didn’t work after all. *sigh*

On top of that, ever since he threw up on a plane on the way to Jessica’s bar mitzvah in May(?) 2008, he’s had trouble with his ear plugging up when we go around corners or up and down hills in the car. Middle ear fluid? His pediatrician showed no interest in this. But it was driving Ethan CRAZY. I gave him benadryl for it when we would go on long car trips or get on an air plane which helped. But anyway, the middle ear fluid can also be caused by allergies.

So finally I find an allergist. After a couple visits to the wonderful Dr. Machtinger, (really I just like to say his name with a german accent) we discover that Ethan is strongly allergic to dust mites and slightly allergic to cats.

Well, maybe the breast milk did work. Glen’s allergic to cats and pollen and grass.

So we got Ethan a new ionic air purifier thingie, vacuumed, vacuumed, vacuumed, (which actually doesn’t help that much apparently so I’m not sure why I’m doing it) dusted, washed all linens, swapped out his pillow for one that can be washed better and will be getting rid of the carpet in there. Of course, we haven’t yet invested in the special mattress, linens, pillows, powder to kill dust mites….. Ugh. I can see the circles under his eyes and he wakes up sniffling every morning.

On top of that, there’s the root canal.

18 months ago Ethan 2 front teeth broke off halfway down when a baseball took a bad hop smack into his face. Dr Terrence Lau of San Mateo (AMAZING pediatric dentist, can not say enough good about him. The children have never experienced a moment of pain in his chair and considering what Ethan’s been through that’s saying a lot. Thanks Dympna for introducing me to him!) met us at his office after hours and, without assistance, painstakingly glued the pieces of Ethan’s teeth that his team mates had found back on. I think we were there close to 3 hours.

Then in January of this year Ethan’s mouth hit some playground equipment and the pieces broke off again. Luckily he was able to remain calm and find them in the sand before some preschooler came over and buried them. This time it was during the day so at least there was an assistant to help!

But unfortunately we discovered a few weeks ago that the nerve in one of his 2 front teeth died the 2nd time. Root canal. Not only that, but it means multiple visits to the endodontist because the tooth hasn’t finished growing yet so they’re putting some special substance into the tooth to help it grow which has to be replenished every 2 months before they seal it up once and for all. Dr Lau thinks Ethan should be able to keep his 2 front teeth for a few decades if not more, and who knows what dental cosmetic surgery will be doing then. Advancements are made every year.

Hassle. Yes. Expensive. Yes. BUT thank goodness this is the worst of the health problems in our family (knocking on wood) and that dentistry is so advanced that this can be treated fairly easily.

Smile Disaster

Ethan’s smile took a hit yesterday, but was then glued back on. About 15 minuted before the end of Little League practice, a ball took a funny hop and whacked off half of his two front teeth. Literally about 50%. It looked like the outline of the ball to me. Glen described it to the children’s dentist as an “upside down smile.” (Later the dentist said to me, that was a great description although Glen may not have realized it was. I didn’t bother to tell Dr. Lau that, no, Glen thinks all of his descriptions are great. (And they are honey.)

At first it looked like just his lip was fat, but then they realized the teeth were gone. Luckily 2 of his teammates found the 2 pieces. I was away picking up Glen, but also luckily, friend and fellow CPNS board member Eleni Hulman was there and she called me on my cell and gave me the news right away. Ethan was crying and pretty scared and upset. All of the parents who were there and our fantastic Coach Barney Fahey were so caring and concerned – I really appreciated knowing Ethan had that love and support around him when I wasn’t there.

At first Glen and I thought we would wait until the next day to go see the dentist because dental is SO expensive and emergency anything is SO expensive and it all comes out of our HSA. But we looked online and decided to call Ethan’s dentist, Dr. Terrence Lau.

He is a GREAT dentist. Pediatric dentistry has come so far from when I was a kid, but Dr. Lau is really outstanding. He also charges an arm and a leg and we haven’t seen him for a year because our insurance had changed. Luckily, it recently changed back. He really makes the children feel at ease, explaining everything he is doing and using language that is accessible and safe. When he gives a shot he doesn’t let them see the needle; he just explains that he has to hold the lip so can see and sometimes it might feel like he is pinching too hard because the lip is so slippery to hold on to, so just tell him. That kind of calming technique and the movie (last night was Surf’s Up which Ethan had never seen) on the ceiling really made Ethan feel at ease.

We called Dr. Lau at 6:45 and he told us to meet him at the office – he would drive back from SF. And over the next 2 hours, with no help, he carefully and meticulously bonded Ethan’s missing pieces back onto the stubs. The medical prognosis is good, but we’re not out of the woods. If the nerves in the teeth are damaged, they could die and then Ethan will need a root canal. He put medicine directly on the teeth and also prescribed an antibiotic. He said we could still go to Disneyland next week.

Can’t Stop Smiling

Matthew is a smiler. He smiles all day long. He is always smiling! Almost all of his expressions include smiles. He has his angry look, where his mouth and eyes are smiling but he wrinkles his nose and forehead. He has his surprised look where he opens his eyes and mouth as wide as he can, but the corners of his mouth are still hinting at happy. He has his scared look, where he shakes his head slightly and hunches his shoulders and blinks his eyes, but is still smiling.

Smile though your heart is breaking – learning to smile again

4 was a hard year for Jared. His last year of preschool was really difficult and Jared somehow came to the belief that the world was against him. For a while he could find nothing to be happy about. I would ask him to name some good things that happened to him at the end of the day and he couldn’t.

That’s when I started the behavior modification. That included chocolate in the morning if he could name good things before he went to sleep at night. (Some might call that a bribe, but I call it conditioning.) It also included smile therapy. I felt like I had to teach him how to smile all over again. Opposite of Matthew, he seemed to not allow himself to smile under any circumstances. Now he knows that his smiles are a gift he can give me every day, and he showers me with the gift of his smiles first thing every morning and throughout the day.

We’re still working on the whole world-is-against-me belief, but we’ll get there.

… that needed stitches!

OK, he didn’t NEED stitches, the dr just said it would heal better if he had them, and since he was so calm they might as well give them to him.

I, however, was not calm. I broke my record of very serene injury review. Up until this incident I had always managed to maintain composure after falls, cuts, concussions etc.

I had walked into the kids’ bedroom to get Matthew’s pajamas when I heard him and a friend I was babysitting screaming. I walked quickly into the living room and Matthew ran up to me crying. If Matthew’s crying you know it hurts, because he’s a tough little guy (I think he’s missing some pain sensitivity neurons).

He buries his face against my leg and I put my hand in its accustomed place on the back of his head… to find it covered with blood! Blood all over the place. running down my hand, dripping on the floor. AAAAAAAAAAAAH!

This particular friend has a history of sudden violence. He’s not a bad kid, but you just have to be aware of him getting upset because he can kind of erupt in a physically aggressive way. In my mind I’m picturing that this child grabbed a brick and fractured Matthew’s skull! Of all the ridiculous things to think!

Anyway, Glen was Mr. Smooth. He has told me about the time his elementary school mate’s teeth sunk into his head in such a way that blood was spurting out. The school nurse screamed when she saw him and his shirt was covered in blood. So he was comfortable dealing with this situation.

Matthew, after getting over the first hurting part, was terrific:

2 stitches that will dissolve, administered after a local anesthetic.

I think he actually had fun. The sticker and popsicle they gave him is probably what he remembers most! Hopefully he’ll remember not to walk on the coffee table also.