Jared and Matthew have recently arrived at a mutual understanding. They are playing together wonderfully.

One of their favorite games would drive most people crazy. They chase each other around the house chanting, “Tanana! Tanana! Tanana!” It is very silly and fun for them.

Jared’s placement as the middle child seems to be a perfect fit for him. On the one hand, he always watches before jumping in. He has taken advantage of Ethan’s jump-right-in nature many times, letting Ethan happily be the guinea pig while Jared assesses it from the sidelines. Then Jared can feel safe and self-assured when he’s ready to give it a shot. A great example was when Jared was 2 and watched Ethan swinging the bat at pitched balls for at least 20 minutes before he would give it a try. When he was ready to try, he hit the ball on the first swing.

On the other hand, by having a younger brother Jared also gets to play big brother. He gets to be the role model, the leader, the teacher with Matthew. Matthew seems independent enough to not mind following his brothers; he will strike out on his own instead of following when he chooses. But I think Jared benefits from both roles.

Of course, I’m not a middle child and haven’t read up on it much. I do know that Jared is a contrarian and that is in reaction to Ethan.

* * * * *

Yesterday Jared created a speech pattern and identified it as such. Great, right? However, he didn’t use words that can be taken into polite society.

“Butt, penis, penis, butt, penis, penis, butt,… hey mom, it’s a pattern… “

He made up a few more similar patterns.

On Thanksgiving Day Rachel reminded me of the New Food chart. We don’t do it daily anymore. Ethan is willing to try new things and rate them without formally keeping track.

Rachel told me she read about the almost exact same idea in the Wall Street Journal lately (making me feel like a very clever mom . But then I realized… what a perfect tool to use for Thanksgiving meal!

We only do Thanksgiving menu items once or twice a year. The kids do not see stuffing, cranberry relish, sweet potatoes or even gravy very often. This was sure to be another formal family meal full of complaints from the children that there is “nothing to eat.”

So I made a chart! One for Jared and one for Ethan listing every single food starting with the Butternut Squash Soup and ending with Whipped Cream. Of those 2 you can guess which got the lowest score, and which got a 10 on both charts.

They were so busy tasting and ranking, they forgot to complain! And they filled their tummies.

Charts rule!

Grandma Penny went to Japan on a Textile Tour this month, so we have been studying Japan also, living vicariously. We added a little Japan to our Thanksgiving in the form of haiku.

Matthew
A question for you
Watch Wiggles for ten minutes?
I am the baby!

Jared
Thankful for Ethan
I am thankful for myself
That is all I got

Ethan
The first baby is best
Thank you for giving me life
happy thanksgiving!

Mommy
Thanks be for fam’ly
And also for friends. I love
Turkey Day. Amen.

Daddy
First, thanks for the food
The company is what counts
Thanks for being here

Honored Guest and Featured Chef, Rachel
With friends and good food
we dine tonight much better
than alternatives

And finally, a little rhyme giving credit where credit is due:
Thank you to Scott
Who made the food yummy.
He worked really hard,
Even with a bad tummy!

We missed Claire Bear and Molly terribly. It was hard being so far from all of our family. But it was a lovely lovely day. The boys played tennis, baseball and scooted and biked in our park. There was a seasonal nip in the air but it was lovely.

And we all worked on a puzzle of Rockefeller Center with the GIANT SOLSTICE TREE; Grandpa Jim got the hardest (last) piece. We had to do a NYC puzzle, since Rachel and Scott are from NY and missing their family there, Ethan was born in NYC and Grandma Penny used to visit NYC every winter when she was growing up.

And the food… well, it’s nice to have a trained chef come over and cook for your family!

On Friday, Ethan’s school was closed for Veteran’s Day so we planned an adventure with the Coadys. Erin and I took Clara, Ethan, Jared, Aidan and Matty to Ardenwood Farms. I was underwhelmed.

Ardenwood Farms is a working 19th century farm that was once 6,000 acres. But there was little to do there for kids, even though the Website indicated they were in full gear until November 15. There were two blacksmiths working in a shop which was really great to watch, but you have to be a tall, tall 5 year-old to be able to see over the railing. There was a flock of peacocks that tried to steal our picnic food. There were various, typical farm animals around the large property. Mostly the kids just climbed trees as that was about all there was for them to do there. Erin and I were glad we missed the sign that said “No Climbing Trees” when we went in or we would have had nothing to do! It’s a shame we paid full price for the farm, when we would have had much more fun for free at Coyote Hills Regional Park a half mile west. It also used to be part of the Ardenwood Estate.

Saturday’s adventure was more successful. Lindsay Wildlife Museum and Hospital is an organization about 50 miles east of us in Walnut Creek. They take in wild animals that are injured or sick. The animals are re-introduced to the wild if possible, or kept there if not. You can get REALLY close up to these amazing predators. We were about 5 feet from a mountain lion who had been de-clawed by some idiot who had tried to keep her as a pet. She was taking her aggression out on a ball and boy, was that scream amazing to hear! Matthew kept going back to the mallard who was an inch away from his nose, on the other side of a class door. We saw a bald eagle and other raptors eating dead chickens. It was a fun trip with our friends the Gladstones. I had thought I was so clever getting 4 tickets for $10 at the CPNS Silent Auction, but then it turned out we could’ve gotten in for free with our Coyote Point membership. Duh.

So, you win some, you lose some. Hopefully the kids are getting SOMETHING out of these various trips. Ethan was very happy to see Gefen again, that’s for sure.

He’s the forces of nature in a tiny little package.

He rides a scooter like a 5 year old. He is completely confident on the new Razor Glen bought for him. When Ed Coady first met him, the father of Jared’s friend Aidan and Ethan’s friend Clara, he was amazed. He couldn’t believe how much energy Matthew had and how agile he was. He said that if he had 10 Matthews he could conquer the world.

***

At the Laurel Elementary School Pancake Breakfast the other day, Matthew was riding his scooter across the playground like a pro. This generally gets admiring comments from parents and elementary-age kids alike.

I heard two kids on scooters say, “Hey, check out that little guy on his scooter! Let’s go say hi!” They scooted over to him, stopping right in front of him.

He looked up and exclaimed cheerily, “Hey!” like he knew them.

But then he looked at them a little closer and realized he didn’t. He waited a moment, and they just looked at him. So he said, “I watch Wiggles. Bye!”

And he waved and rode off.

He’s reading at almost 3rd grade level and is doing great on all subjects.

Mrs. Amato wrote:
Three things you are doing a great job on:
1. Ethan is reading well above grade level. He reads fluently and with expression.
2. Ethan is also doing wonderfully at math and understanding the concepts being taught.
3. Writer’s Workshop is another area in which Ethan does well. He has a wonderful imagination.

Three things to keep working on:
1. Doing our work slowly and neatly! Remembering to take our time.

***

Ethan’s emotional maturity is also an area that needs to grow. He sometimes gets frustrated and cries, usually about things beyond his control. (There was the time Glen forgot to give him his backpack when he dropped him off and Ethan thought he’d lost it, and that he didn’t have lunch and that it was a disaster. I heard from our friend Ruth Hollis that Mrs. Amato was so warm and reassuring and helped him get past it.)

He needs to do his work a little more slowly because his fine motor skills can’t keep up with the ideas his brain is spitting out, so his work is frequently barely legible.

We talked about Ethan skipping a grade or him being in gifted and talented. But San Mateo-Foster City doesn’t have a great program for G&T. Their “GATE” program doesn’t start until 4th grade. Glen and I would rather keep him at the grade level he’s at now, but get him in a gifted and talented program. Finishing school a year earlier doesn’t get you into Harvard.

Most gratifying, Mrs. Amato said how much she really enjoys Ethan. She said she remembered him from the Book Buddy program last year, and how they could have long conversations together. She also said that we are doing a good job as parents enriching the education with things like that airplane ride. (Thank you Grandma Penny!)

We know she will keep him challenged this year, in his first/second grade split, and that she is a perfect teacher to help him with his frustrations an high emotions.

Last night he read Dav Pilkey’s The Adventures of Captain Underpants, 121 pages in less than 90 minutes.

We waited until the last minute to carve pumpkins. What with the smashing of all our pumpkins last year, and our recent trip to Florida this year making things extra busy, we didn’t have time to go to the pumpkin patch in Half Moon Bay. I figured it was easier, and cleaner, to skip it. But on Halloween day, Ethan and our friend Clara Coady needed a project while Erin was working at CPNS. So they carved 2 pumpkins all on their own. They even cleaned up afterwards.

Ethan was a pirate. He had a parade at his school and waved to everyone with a big smile. When he went out trick or treating he was supposed to take just the UNICEF box to collect money for children in need. My plan was that he would trade-off collecting candy with Jared, thereby limiting the amount of candy we would get. (Last year we threw more than half of it away.) However, I stayed home to greet trick or treaters and Glen didn’t enforce my idea. So Ethan would trick or treat for candy and then say, “I’m collecting money for poor kids!” If the person said, I’m sorry I don’t have any change, he would say, “I can wait while you get it.” Talk about persistence. We’ve got a salesman in the making.

Jared was a BLUE Power Ranger. Not just a Power Ranger, a blue one. He was very specific. He had a costume parade and show at gymnastics in the morning. Then he had pre-k and preschool with no costumes allowed. Then he was back in his costume for trick or treating. His scariest part was when a guy jumped out of the bushes at one of the Haunted Houses they visited. His favorite part of Halloween, besides candy, was – well, apparently there was no other favorite part that even comes close. Just getting candy and eating candy.

Matthew started the day with quite a fright. I was changing his diaper when Glen came in the room and asked how his costume looked. Matthew, who was looking at him over my shoulder, started crying and looked terrified. I had no idea why and started to soothe him, but he was staring at Glen and very scared. I turned, to point and say – it’s just daddy honey – and got a start myself. Glen had a long white wig and beard on and looked like a stranger had just walked into our house! His voice wasn’t enough to convince Matty that it was daddy. He had to take the wig and beard off before Matty calmed down.

Matthew was a chicken for most of the day, although he also wore his muscle-spiderman costume around for a while. He LOVED trick or treating, just like last year.